From 'I do' to 'I do not'

Reflections on what would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary.

Today would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary.

Instead, I’m reflecting on my divorce and celebrating how far I’ve come.

Things quickly shifted very quickly from “I do” to, “I do not”.

My partner and I were together for eight years before he proposed and nine years before we got married. And yet, it only took him 2.5 months to tell me we had made a “mistake” to do so.

You can imagine my shock.

This was NOT an easy period for me. My father had just paid for an elaborate wedding, I’d taken a three week honeymoon in Bali, and everyone was still congratulating me. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be in the “honeymoon phase”, but this wasn’t something I ever felt or experienced.

So what did I do after I heard those life-changing words? I did what any Type A, self-sabotaging person would do. I put on a fake smile, pretended everything was fine, hid this horrifying news from colleagues, friends, and family, desperately tried to fix things (and failed), and cried myself to sleep over wine an…