Why I moved abroad, part 3: Italy

There’s no place like Rome.

A quiet Colosseum grounds, April 2021

I started this series to help me find a place to call home. I’ve been feeling stuck in the in-between, and so what better way to get clarity than to write about it? (Plus my therapist suggested I do so, and she knows me better than most.)

After leaving the US in 2016 to backpack through Latin America (part 1) and then moving to Mexico City in 2018 (part 2), I casually hopped across the Atlantic in 2020 to give Italy a try.

Upon first impression, one thing was clear: la dolce vita suited me.

I spent my days eating some of the best food in the world (I dare you to challenge me on that), washing it down with delicious, affordable wine. I adored my solo restaurant dates and the way the servers either fully ignored me or hardcore flirted with me. There was no in between. I spent my days walking (and walking and walking, you do a lot of walking in Europe) to get to know whatever city I was in, getting lost in the history and cobblestone streets. I shopped in Milan. I sailed in Sicily. I went truffle hunting and picked wild asparagus with a man named Matteo. It often felt like I was living in a movie, one where I was the main character. I soaked up as much of this beautiful life as I could.

I might have even loved living in Italy more so during the tail end of the pandemic, without all the tourism. While there were plenty of restrictions and things I couldn’t do, it also allowed me the opportunity to get to know Italy in a way that most never will. Can you imagine the Colosseum grounds completely empty or having the Trevi fountain all to yourself? The ability to live there during this crazy time was a privilege that came along with having an Italian passport and something I did not take for granted.

Getting a selfie like this nowadays would be literally impossible. This was also when coffee had to be served in to-go cups, normally a big no-no in Italy!

The longer I stayed, the harder I fell.

After several months of treating Italy like a boy I wasn’t quite convinced I should fully commit to, assessing whether to go all in on this new love affair or return “home” to Mexico City (where I had continued paying rent for several months after I left…I know, I know, commitment issues), suddenly everything fell into place. I found myself in a city where I absolutely thrived, one that beckoned me to stay.

The city that officially forever stole my heart was dear Roma.

I quickly fell into my stride in Italy’s breathtaking capital, building community, working at a yoga studio, walking to my local market, writing from expat friendly coffee shops, and taking weekly virtual Italian lessons. I had even signed a one-year lease which felt HUGE at the time (still does).

It felt like a dream, creating this life for myself in Italy. I’ve never felt this way about anywhere else, and it might be the happiest I’ve ever been.

Laughing because I just got caught checking out that group of Italian men. (My friends and I were commenting on their matching sweaters.)

If you haven’t been to Rome, or spent more than a couple of nights there “to see the highlights”, I highly encourage you to book a ticket RIGHT NOW. Ok maybe not right now since 2025 is Jubilee and there is going to be a crazy influx of tourism and you know how I feel about that. But definitely add it to your list of places to get to know in the future. I’ll be sure to write a full post of everything I adore about this magical city. For now it lives on an Instagram highlight.

There are challenges with settling into any new country (or city or state for that matter), of course, and I spent a lot of time alone in my studio apartment without any real plans. I wasn’t fluent in Italian so it was hard to make meaningful connections outside of the expat world. I was casually dating but craving true partnership, and from what I had seen so far, settling down with an Italian could prove to be quite tricky (iykyk). Plus, nearly everyone smokes in Italy and that just grosses me out.

These nuances aside, it quickly became clear to me that Rome was meant to be my home for the long run. I just felt it in my soul. There’s no other way to describe it.

I returned to Mexico City to officially close my chapter in Roma Norte (noticing a theme?) and flew back to Italy with the rest of my things. I was proud of myself for committing and finally making a decision! I even started looking at real estate. Never had I ever loved a place so much that I considered putting down more permanent roots.

Italy had my heart and nothing, NOTHING, was going to pull me away.

That is, of course, until I got pregnant.

The plot twist of all plot twists.

I’ve been back to Rome many times since I packed up and left. It will never feel the same as when I was carefree and reckless childless. My Virgo brain can make an argument for living – or not living – just about anywhere, but the truth is, nowhere will ever be perfect. Not even dear Roma, although it will always hold a special place in my heart. Maybe I’ll return one day for another more permanent stint. Maybe not.

I’ve come to realize that it’s time for me to stop overanalyzing my past and start trusting what’s in store for my future. As we head into a new year (and soon to be a new location!) I have decided to make things easier on myself and simply surrender to what is. My gut will know when a certain location is right, and besides, it’s always good to leave a room for a little magic along the way.